Table of contents
Esteemed and Respected! Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, has made marriage a blessing for the believers, establishing love and fidelity between spouses. The bond of matrimony is a source of purity, piety, and a means to protect against ill-sight, indecency, obscenity, nudity, and the marshes of sins and filth. The mutual affection, commitment, and love between spouses transform their worldly home into a heavenly one. The love and affection between spouses is a priceless gift from nature, creating empathy and care between them, even though they were strangers before marriage. Through this, two families unite, all by the grace of Allah. Allah Almighty has commanded kindness in the mutual dealings of spouses: ﴿وَعَاشِرُوْهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ﴾([1]) “And live with them in kindness” (Quran). Where it is essential for the husband to treat his wife well, it is equally important for the wife to be loyal and loving.
«وَاللهِ! مَا يحْزنكَ اللهُ أَبَداً، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلىٰ نَوَائِبِ الْحقِّ»([2])
The statement of Ummul Mu’mineen Hazrat Khadijah al-Kubra is indeed renowned and reflects her profound understanding and support for the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). After the first revelation, she comforted the Prophet by saying: “By Allah! Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist those afflicted by calamities
Read More: Huqooq ul Ibad
Etiquettes of Marital Life
Esteemed Brothers! Islam also teaches the etiquettes of marital life. A wife should adorn herself for her husband, be loyal, and protect his honor and wealth. Allah Almighty says: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard” ﴿فَالصّٰلِحٰتُ قٰنِتٰتٌ حٰفِظٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّٰهُ﴾([3]). A wife’s adornment for her husband ensures mutual chastity.
«الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ، وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ، وَلاَ تُخَالِفُهُ فِيمَا يَكْرَهُ في نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهِ»([4])
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said regarding the best of women: “The best of women are those who please their husbands when looked at, obey them when commanded, and do not oppose them in matters concerning themselves or their wealth.”
Respected Brothers! The pleasantness and nobility of conduct between spouses are part of Islamic teachings and the reason for mutual love and affection. Allah Almighty speaks about the love between spouses:
﴿وَمِنْ اٰيٰتِهٖۤ اَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِّنْ اَنْفُسِكُمْ اَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوْۤا اِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَّوَدَّةً وَّرَحْمَةً١ؕ اِنَّ فِيْ ذٰلِكَ لَاٰيٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَّتَفَكَّرُوْنَ۠﴾([5])
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect” (Quran).
Read More: Rights of Relatives
Kind and Gentle
Dear Respected! It is crucial for a husband to be kind and gentle, assist his wife in righteous deeds, and protect himself and his family from disobedience to Allah and His Messenger. Allah Almighty says:
﴿يٰۤاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا قُوْۤا اَنْفُسَكُمْ وَاَهْلِيْكُمْ نَارًا وَّقُوْدُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ﴾([6])
“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones” (Quran). The husband must also encourage his family towards prayer, fasting, and all good deeds.
My Elders and Friends! As it is essential for a wife to fulfill her duties of service and loyalty to her husband, it is equally important for the husband to fulfill his wife’s rights. Just as a husband desires his wife to be adorned for him, the husband should also maintain cleanliness and grooming. The companion Abdullah ibn Abbas said,
«إنّي لأَتَزَيَّن لامْرَأَتِي كما تَتَزَيَّن لي؛ لقوله تعالى: ﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الذي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالمعْرُوْفِ﴾»([7])
“I adorn myself for my wife as she adorns herself for me.” We must take the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as our guide. He said to Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-Aas, «وَإِنَّ لِزَوْجِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقّاً»([8]) “Indeed, your wife has a right over you.
«كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ -تَعْنِي: في خِدْمَة أَهْلِهِ- فَإِذَا حَضَرَتِ الصَّلاَةُ خَرَجَ إِلَى الصَّلاَةِ»([9])
” Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to help his family with their chores and then go out for prayer when it was time.
Read More: Rights of children In Islam
Righteous Woman
Brothers in Islam! The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) declared a righteous woman as the best treasure a man can have. He said: «اسْتَوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَاءِ [خَيْراً]»([10]) “Should I not inform you of the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who pleases him whenever he looks at her, obeys him when he orders, and does not oppose him in matters concerning herself or his wealth. «لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقاً، رَضِيَ مِنْهَا اٰخَرَ»([11]) ” He also emphasized kind treatment towards women and advised against despising them for a disliked trait, as there may be other pleasing qualities.
Esteemed Listeners! Among the rights of spouses is to keep their private matters confidential. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) warned against revealing such secrets.
«إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ: الرَّجُلَ يُفْضِي إِلىٰ امْرَأَتِهِ وَتُفْضِيْ إِلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يَنْشُرُ سِرَّهَا»([12])
He said, “Among the worst people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment will be a man who confides in his wife, and she in him, and then he spreads her secrets.”
Etiquette is for a Man
Part of marital etiquette is for a man not to oppress his wife, to maintain justice, fulfill rights, and if he has multiple wives, to treat them equitably. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said
«إِنَّ الْمقْسِطِينَ عِنْدَ اللهِ عَلىٰ مَنَابِرَ مِنْ نُورٍ عَنْ يَمِينِ الرَّحْمَنِ b، وَكِلْتَا يَدَيْهِ يَمِينٌ، الَّذِينَ يَعْدِلُونَ فِي حُكْمِهِمْ وَأَهْلِيهِمْ وَمَا وَلُوْا»([13])
that those who are just in their ruling and family will be on pulpits of light on the right side of the Merciful (Allah).
Identifying a woman of Paradise, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
«إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شِئْتِ»([14])
“When a woman performs her five daily prayers, fasts during her month (Ramadan), preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, she may enter Paradise from any of its doors she wishes.”
Islamic law forbids a wife from being unfaithful or ungrateful to her husband. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
«لَا يَنْظُرُ اللهُ إِلىٰ امْرَأَةٍ لاَ تَشْكُرُ لِزَوْجِهَا، وَهِيَ لاَ تَسْتَغْنِي عَنْهُ»([15])
“Allah does not look with mercy at a woman who is not grateful to her husband and is in need
Good Conduct with Family Members
Respected and Esteemed! The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the Mercy for the worlds, was known for his excellent conduct with everyone, especially his family members. He said,
«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأهْلِهِ، وَأنا خَيْرُكُمْ لأهْلِي»([16]) “The best among you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best to my family.” Therefore, we too should strive to behave kindly with our family members. Treating one’s family with gentleness assists in performing acts of obedience and brings a person closer to Paradise. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated,
«إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْمَلِ الْمؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَاناً، أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقاً، وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِه»([17])
“Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best character and are kindest to their families.”
Treating family members gently also involves respecting their opinions, as this leads to blessings and goodness. We should also take care of the needs of our family members according to our capabilities. This approach not only fosters a healthy and loving environment in the home but also aligns with the teachings of Islam, emphasizing the importance of good character and kindness towards one’s family.
Faithfulness and Good Character in Marriage
Dear Friends! Good character and faithfulness between spouses are extremely important. Keeping promises to each other is essential. The Creator of the Universe, Allah Almighty, commands in the Quran: “O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts” ﴿يٰۤاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْۤا اَوْفُوْا بِالْعُقُوْدِ﴾([18]). In the Tafsir al-Jalalayn, it is mentioned that this refers to the firm covenants made between you and Allah or between people.
Both the husband and wife are commanded to maintain faithfulness and good conduct towards each other. They are urged to treat each other with love and compassion and to willingly fulfill the obligations of the marriage contract, such as the payment of the dower. Allah Almighty says: “And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously” ﴿وَاٰتُوا النِّسَآءَ صَدُقٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً﴾([19]). Fulfillment of the agreed-upon dowry and other expenses should not be neglected. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) described the best of women as:
«إِنَّ خَيْرَ النِّسَاءِ الَّتِي إِنْ أُعْطِيَتْ شَكَرَتْ، وَإِنْ أُمْسِكَ عَنْهَا صَبَرَتْ»([20])
“The best of women are those who are grateful when given something and patient when deprived.”
Fulfill The Rights
O Allah! Grant us the ability and fortune to fulfill the rights of our family members. Bestow upon spouses the capacity to uphold each other’s rights, strengthen love and affection between them, and make our homes abodes of love and mercy. Grant us the strength to fulfill our promises, purify our inner and outer selves from all impurities, help us to adorn our lives in accordance with the Quran and Sunnah, following the teachings of Your Beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
May Allah send blessings and peace upon the best of His creation, our leader, and our beloved Prophet Muhammad, his family, and companions, and all praises are due to Allah, Lord of the Worlds!
([2]) “صَحيحُ البخاري” كتابُ بدء الوحي، ر: ٣، صـ١.
([4]) “المسند” لأحمد، مسند أبي هريرةh، ر: ٩66٤، ٣/٤٣٩.
([7]) “تفسير القرطبي” البقرة، تحت الآية: ٢٢٨، الجزء الثالث، صـ١١٨.
([8]) “صَحيحُ البخاري” كتابُ النكاح، ر: ٥١٩٩، صـ٩٣٠.
([9]) “صَحيحُ البخاري” ر: 676، صـ١١٠.
([10]) “صَحيحُ مسلم” كتابُ الرضاع، بابُ الْوَصِيَّةِ بِالنِّسَاءِ، ر: ٣6٤٤، صـ٦٢٦.
([11]) “صَحيحُ مسلم” كتابُ الرضاع، بابُ الْوَصِيَّةِ بِالنِّسَاءِ، ر: ٣6٤٥، صـ٦٢٦.
([12]) “صَحيحُ مسلم” كتابُ النكاح، ر: ٣٥٤٢، صـ٦٠٩.
([13]) “صَحيحُ مسلم” كتابُ الإمارة، ر: ٤٧٢١، صـ٨١٩.
([14]) “المسند” حديث عبد الرحمن بن عوف الزهري h، ر: 1٦6١، ١/٤٠٦.
([15]) “السُننُ الكبرى” للبيهقي، كتابُ القسم والنشوز، 7/٢٩٤.
([16]) “جامع الترمذي” أبواب المناقب، ر: ٣٨٩٥، صـ٨٧٨.
([17]) “جَامع الترمذي” أَبوابُ الإيمان، ر: 2612، صـ٥٩٤.
([20]) “المصنّف” لعبد الرزاق، كتابُ الجامع، ر: ٢٠٥٩٤، 11/300، ٣٠١.