The Sharia ruling on maintaining family ties Brothers in Islam! “Maintaining family ties means connecting with relatives, i.e., behaving kindly and respectfully towards relatives. The entire Ummah agrees that maintaining family ties is obligatory, and cutting off family ties is forbidden”.

Emphasis on maintaining family ties and fulfilling rights

Respected elders! Islamic teachings emphasize treating parents, siblings, and other relatives with kindness, maintaining family ties, showing respect according to their status, and fulfilling their rights. Almighty Allah says: ﴿وَاٰتِ ذَا الْقُرْبٰى حَقَّهٗ﴾^([1]) “And give the relative his right”, meaning to maintain family ties, love, togetherness, keeping in touch, helping in times of need, and good social behavior! It is the right of relatives to maintain relationships and maintain family ties, and we have been commanded to fulfill this right. Almighty Allah says: ﴿وَالَّذِيْنَ يَصِلُوْنَ مَاۤ اَمَرَ اللّٰهُ بِهٖۤ اَنْ يُّوْصَلَ﴾^([2]) “And those who join that which Allah has ordered to be joined” () “And those who join what Allah has commanded to be joined”.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his dealings with relatives

Esteemed individuals! The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to treat his relatives with utmost kindness and also helped them in times of need. Among his relatives, the most beloved to him was his wife, Sayyidah Khadijah. Describing the noble characteristics of the Prophet (peace be upon him), she said:

«إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ المَعْدُوْمَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِيْنُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقّ»^([3])

 “You maintain family ties, bear the burden of the weak, earn a living for the destitute, entertain guests, and help in times of calamity”.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized maintaining relationships with relatives. It is narrated from Imam Husayn that the Messenger of Mercy (peace be upon him) said:

«أَلَا أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى خَيْرِ أَخْلَاقِ أَهْلِ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ؟ أَنْ تَصِلَ مَنْ قَطَعَكَ، وَتُعْطِيَ مَنْ حَرَمَكَ، وَتَعْفُوَ عَمَّنْ ظَلَمَكَ!»^([4])

 “Shall I not guide you to the best of manners of the people of this world and the Hereafter? It is to maintain ties with those who cut you off, to give to those who deprive you, and to forgive those who wrong you!”.

The means to enter Paradise

Respected individuals! Fulfilling the rights of relatives and treating them with kindness is one of the best means to enter Paradise. Hazrat Abu Ayyub Ansari narrates that a person asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to tell him an action that would admit him into Paradise. The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied:

«تَعْبُدُ اللهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُ بِهِ شَيْئاً، وَتُقِيمُ الصَّلاَةَ، وَتُؤْتِي الزَّكَاةَ، وَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ!»^([5])

“Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, establish prayer, give zakat, and maintain family ties!”, meaning to treat your relatives well and fulfill their rights.

The best of virtues

Dear brothers! Maintaining family ties is one of the best deeds. It is narrated from Mu’adh ibn Anas that the Messenger of Mercy (peace be upon him) said:

«أَفْضَلُ الْفَضَائِلِ أَنْ تَصِلَ مَنْ قَطَعَكَ، وَتُعْطِيَ مَنْ مَنَعَكَ، وَتَصْفَحَ عَمَّنْ شَتَمَكَ»^([6])

“The best of virtues is to maintain ties with those who cut you off, to give to those who deprive you, and to forgive those who wrong you!”.

The true meaning of maintaining family ties

Honorable individuals! The true meaning of maintaining family ties is to keep in touch with your relatives, both in good and bad times, and to help them in difficult situations without expecting anything in return. It is narrated from Abdullah ibn Amr that the Messenger of Mercy (peace be upon him) said:

«لَيْسَ الوَاصِلُ بِالمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الوَاصِل الَّذِي إِذَا قُطِعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا»^([7])

“The one who maintains family ties is not the one who reciprocates, but the one who maintains ties when they are severed!”.

Reciprocating in maintaining family ties means only meeting those relatives who meet you, and not maintaining ties with those who do not meet you. But the true meaning of maintaining family ties is that if a relative cuts off ties with you, you should respond by maintaining good conduct, showing respect, and not abandoning the habit of kindness and goodness towards them!

Benefits of maintaining family ties

Dear people! Maintaining good relations with relatives, building relationships with them, and fulfilling their rights have various forms, and there are numerous benefits of maintaining family ties, some of which are as follows:

(1) Maintaining family ties is a means of forgiveness for sins. Almighty Allah says:

﴿وَلَا يَاْتَلِ اُولُوا الْفَضْلِ مِنْكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ اَنْ يُّؤْتُوْۤا اُولِي الْقُرْبٰى وَالْمَسٰكِيْنَ وَالْمُهٰجِرِيْنَ فِيْ سَبِيْلِ اللّٰهِ١۪ۖ وَلْيَعْفُوْا وَلْيَصْفَحُوْا١ؕ اَلَا تُحِبُّوْنَ اَنْ يَّغْفِرَ اللّٰهُ لَكُمْ١ؕ وَاللّٰهُ غَفُوْرٌ رَّحِيْمٌ﴾^([8])

“And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Quran ).

(2) Treating relatives with kindness leads to love, wealth, and blessings in life. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

«تَعَلَّمُوْا مِنْ أَنْسَابِكُمْ مَا تَصِلُونَ بِهِ أَرْحَامَكُمْ؛ فَإِنَّ صِلَةَ الرَّحِمِ مَحَبَّةٌ فِي الْأَهْلِ، مَثْرَاةٌ فِي المَالِ، مَنْسَأَةٌ فِي الْأَثَرِ»^([9])

“Learn about your lineage so that you may maintain ties with your relatives. Maintaining family ties brings love among the family, increases wealth, and extends one’s life”.

(3) Maintaining family ties leads to abundance in sustenance, ease in life, and blessings in age. It is narrated from Anas ibn Malik that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

«مَنْ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يُبْسَطَ لَهُ فِي رِزْقِهِ، وَيُنْسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَثَرِهِ، فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ»^([10])

“Whoever wants his provision to be expanded and his lifespan to be extended, should maintain family ties”.

(4) Maintaining family ties and treating relatives well protect one from a bad death. It is narrated from Anas ibn Malik that the Messenger of Mercy (peace be upon him) said:

«إِنَّ الصَّدَقَةَ وَصِلَةَ الرَّحِمِ يَزِيدُ اللهُ بهما فِي الْعُمُرِ، وَيَدْفَعُ بهما مِيتَةَ السُّوءِ، وَيَدْفَعُ اللهُ بهما المَكْرُوهَ وَالمَحْذُورَ»^([11])

“Charity and maintaining family ties increase one’s lifespan, protect one from a bad death, and repel disliked and calamitous events”.

(5) Maintaining family ties is a sign of faith. Abu Huraira narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

«مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللهِ وَاليَوْمِ الآخِرِ، فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ»^([12])

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain family ties”.

(6) Maintaining family ties, good manners, and being a good neighbor build and increase the lifespan. Aisha, the Mother of the Believers, narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

«صِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ وَحُسْنُ الْخُلُقِ وَحُسْنُ الْجِوَارِ، يَعْمُرَانِ الدِّيَارَ، وَيَزِيدَانِ فِي الْأَعْمَارِ»^([13])

“Maintaining family ties, good manners, and being a good neighbor build and increase the lifespan”.

Best way to maintain family ties

Dear brothers! The best way to maintain family ties is to visit the homes of your siblings and other relatives from time to time, meet them, inquire about their well-being and condition, give them gifts, participate in their happiness and sorrows, visit any sick relatives, meet them cheerfully whenever you meet, and if they have any need, fulfill it.

Condemnation and disadvantages of severing family ties

Members of the Islamic community! In Islam, severing ties with blood relatives is a cause of neglecting their rights, and the Quran strongly prohibits it. Almighty Allah says:

﴿وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ الَّذِيْ تَسَآءَلُوْنَ بِهٖ وَالْاَرْحَامَ١ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيْبًا﴾^([14])

“And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer” (Quran ).

Severing family ties leads to the wrath of Allah, distance from His mercy, and bad consequences. Almighty Allah says:

﴿وَالَّذِيْنَ يَنْقُضُوْنَ عَهْدَ اللّٰهِ مِنْۢ بَعْدِ مِيْثَاقِهٖ وَيَقْطَعُوْنَ مَاۤ اَمَرَ اللّٰهُ بِهٖۤ اَنْ يُّوْصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُوْنَ فِي الْاَرْضِ١ۙ اُولٰٓىِٕكَ لَهُمُ اللَّعْنَةُ وَلَهُمْ سُوْٓءُ الدَّارِ﴾^([15])

“But those who break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which Allah has ordered to be joined and spread corruption on earth – for them is the curse, and they will have the worst home” (Quran ).

Being displeased with family members over trivial matters and severing ties deprives one of entering paradise. Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, «لاَ يَدْخُلُ الجَنَّةَ قَاطِعٌ»^([16]) “He who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise”.

The actions of those who sever family ties are not accepted. Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

«إِنَّ أَعْمَالَ بَنِي آدَمَ تُعْرَضُ كُلَّ خَمِيسٍ لَيْلَةَ الْجُمُعَةِ، فَلَا يُقْبَلُ عَمَلُ قَاطِعِ رَحِمٍ»^([17])

“Verily, the deeds of people are presented every Thursday evening, and the deeds of a servant who severs the ties of kinship are not accepted”.

Exemplary Conduct

Dear brothers in Islam! The Quran commands us to show exemplary conduct towards our relatives. Almighty Allah says:

﴿وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ۠ اِحْسَانًا وَّذِي الْقُرْبٰى وَالْيَتٰمٰى وَالْمَسٰكِيْنِ وَقُوْلُوْا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا﴾^([18])

“And do good to parents, relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side” (Quran ).

The highest level of exemplary conduct and honor is owed to our own parents. Almighty Allah says:

﴿قُلْ تَعَالَوْا اَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ اَلَّا تُشْرِكُوْا بِهٖ شَيْـًٔا وَّبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ۠ اِحْسَانًا﴾^([19])

“Say, ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment” (Quran).

Reward for Good Treatment of Parents

Respected ones! A Muslim who treats his parents and elders with respect, kindness, and good conduct, Allah honors him in this world and places respect for him in the hearts of his children. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, «بَرُّوا آباءَكُمْ، تَبَرُّكُمْ أَبْنَاؤُكُم»^([20])  “He who treats his parents well, his children will treat him well”.

Good treatment and kindness towards parents mean to treat them with kindness, respect, and honor, act happily upon their every permissible command, be diligent in serving them at all times, and make every effort to make them happy. Also, speak to them with gentleness, humility, and submission!

Softness and Good Conduct with Family

Dear brother! Softness, love, and good conduct should also be shown to your family, as this is their right according to Shariah, and we have been taught and encouraged to do so. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِه، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي!»^([21])  

“The best among you is the one who is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family”.

Treat Your Relatives and Give Their Rights

Remember! Showing good conduct towards relatives is not a favor but their right. Therefore, the good conduct shown to parents, siblings, and other relatives, including family, should not be bragged about, nor should they be considered inferior. Instead, one should seek the help of Allah to fulfill their rights and to protect and safeguard them!

Respect for Elders and Compassion for the Young

Dear ones! Showing respect and honor to elders and compassion and mercy towards the young, including all Muslims, are important rights. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has commanded us to honor and respect our elders and to show love and compassion towards the young. Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, «لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا وَيُوَقِّرْ كَبِيرَنَا»^([22])  “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders”.

On another occasion, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, «كَبِّرِ الكُبْرَ»^([23])  “He is not one of us who does not respect our elders and show compassion to our young” ().

Therefore, if we desire that our respect and honor be acknowledged in old age, then today we must also respect and honor our elders, relatives, and elderly Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

«مَا أَكْرَمَ شَابٌّ شَيْخاً لِسِنِّهِ، إِلَّا قَيَّضَ اللهُ لَهُ مَنْ يُكْرِمُهُ عِنْدَ سِنِّه»^([24])

“Whoever honors an elderly because of his age, Allah appoints someone who will honor him in his old age” ().

Good Education and Upbringing for Children

Respected ones! One of the important relationships among our blood and close relatives is with our children. This is a relationship in which our blood and emotions are both connected. Islamic teachings extensively detail the rights of children, and the most important and foundational right of children is their good education and upbringing. Good upbringing of children is the foundation of a good society. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, «مَا نَحَلَ وَالِدٌ وَلَداً مِنْ نَحْلٍ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ أَدَبٍ حَسَنٍ»^([25]) “There is no gift better for a child from his father than good upbringing”.

Ali ibn Abi Talib said, «عَلِّمُوْا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيْكُم الخَيْرَ!»^([26])  “Teach yourselves and your families goodness”.

Dear respected ones! “Some people show more love and interest towards their sons, while they consider their daughters a burden and neglect their education and upbringing. This is one of the worst causes of social disorder. Islam has emphasized on the good education and upbringing of daughters, and its great virtue has been mentioned. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

«مَنْ عَالَ ثَلاَثَ بَنَاتٍ، فَأَدَّبَهُنَّ وَزَوَّجَهُنَّ، وَأَحْسَنَ إِلَيْهِنَّ، فَلَهُ الْجَنَّةُ»^([27])

“Whoever has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them, and shows mercy to them, he will enter Paradise”

Equality among Children

Dear brothers! “The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) commanded us to maintain equality among all our children and not to create differences among them. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, «اتَّقُوا اللهَ وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلَادِكُمْ»([28])  ‘Fear Allah and treat your children equally’

Parents who show more affection and love to their sons, depriving their daughters of love, have been cautioned by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He advised that even in this matter, equality should be maintained among children. Once, a person was sitting with the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when his son came. He picked him up, kissed him, and placed him in his lap. Then, a little later, his daughter came, so he picked her up and placed her on his side. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) asked, «فَمَا عَدَلْتَ بَيْنَهُمَا»([29])  “Have you not been fair between them?”.

Encouragement for Financial Cooperation with Relatives

Esteemed individuals! In the rights of relatives, mere kinship, good behavior, and showing sympathy are not enough. It is also our responsibility to provide for their needs, give them news, and, according to our means, provide financial assistance. The Quran emphasizes this at several places. Allah Almighty says,

﴿وَاٰتَى الْمَالَ عَلٰى حُبِّهٖ ذَوِي الْقُرْبٰى وَالْيَتٰمٰى وَالْمَسٰكِيْنَ وَابْنَ السَّبِيْلِ١ۙ وَالسَّآىِٕلِيْنَ۠ وَفِي الرِّقَابِ﴾^([30])

“And give the relative his right, and [also] the poor and the traveler, and do not spend wastefully”.

Helping Relatives Through Charity And Good Deeds Is Their Right.

Allah Almighty says,

﴿فَاٰتِ ذَا الْقُرْبٰى حَقَّهٗ وَالْمِسْكِيْنَ وَابْنَ السَّبِيْلِ١ؕ ذٰلِكَ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِيْنَ يُرِيْدُوْنَ وَجْهَ اللّٰهِ١ٞ وَاُولٰٓىِٕكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُوْنَ﴾^([31])

“So give the relative his right, and the poor, and the traveler. That is best for those who desire the countenance of Allah, and it is they who will be the successful”.

It is commanded to prioritize relatives in charity and good deeds. Allah Almighty says,

: ﴿يَسْـَٔلُوْنَكَ مَا ذَا يُنْفِقُوْنَ١ؕ۬ قُلْ مَاۤ اَنْفَقْتُمْ مِّنْ خَيْرٍ فَلِلْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْاَقْرَبِيْنَ وَالْيَتٰمٰى وَالْمَسٰكِيْنِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيْلِ١ؕ وَمَا تَفْعَلُوْا مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَاِنَّ اللّٰهَ بِهٖ عَلِيْمٌ﴾^([32])

“They ask you, [O Muhammad], what they should spend. Say, ‘Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it'”.

The Best Charity

Respected individuals! Spending on relatives who are against you or harbor enmity towards you is the best charity. Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, «إِنَّ أَفْضَلَ الصَّدَقَةِ: الصَّدَقَةُ عَلَى ذِي الرَّحِمِ الْكَاشِحِ»^([33]) “The best charity is that given to a relative who does not like you”.

Salman Al-Farisi reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

«الصَّدَقَةُ على المسكينِ صَدَقة، وهي على ذي الرَّحمِ ثِنْتَانِ: (1) صدقة (2) وصِلة»^([34])

“Charity given to a poor person is one charity, and that given to a relative is two: charity and upholding the ties of kinship” ().

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) encouraged helping financially weak and needy relatives. When Abu Talhah donated his garden for the sake of Allah, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised, «اجْعَلْهَا فِي قَرَابَتِكَ»^([35])  “Place it among your relatives”.

Conclusion

Kind behavior towards relatives and fulfilling their rights leads to reward and blessings, while cutting off ties causes harm and loss in this world and the Hereafter.

Therefore, it is incumbent upon every Muslim to fulfill the rights of their parents, siblings, and all relatives, to treat them well, to approach them with happiness, to show respect and honor to the elders, and to be compassionate towards the younger ones.

They should not sever ties, visit them when they are sick, help them in times of need, overlook their mistakes, and assist them financially according to their means. Doing so is the means to success and prosperity in both this world and the Hereafter!

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([13]) “مسند الإمام أحمد” مسند السيّدة عائشة i، ر: ٢٥٣١٤، ٩/٥٠٤.

([14]) پ4، النساء: 1.

([15]) پ13، الرعد: 25.

([16]) “صحيح البخاري” كتاب الأدب، باب إثم القاطع، ر: 5984، صـ1048.

([17]) “مسند الإمام أحمد” مسند أبي هريرة h، ر: 10276، 3/533.

([18]) پ1، البقرة: 83.

([19]) پ8، الأنعام: 151.

([20]) “مُستدرَك الحاكم” كتاب البرّ والصّلة، ر: ٧٢٥٩، ٧/٢٥٩٢.

([21]) “سنن الترمذي” أبواب المناقب، باب فضل أزواج النّبي g، ر: ٣٨٩٥، صـ٨٧٨.

([22]) المرجع نفسه، أبواب البر والصلة، باب ما جاء في رحمة الصبيان، ر: ١٩١٩، صـ٤٤٨.

([23]) “صحيح البخاري” كتابُ الْأدب، ر: 6143، صـ1071.

([24]) “سنن الترمذي” أبوابُ البرّ والصلة، ر: 2022، صـ466.

([25]) المرجع نفسه، باب ما جاء في أدب الولد، ر: ١٩٥٢، صـ٤٥٣.

([26]) “شعب الإيمان” باب في حقوق الأولاد والأهلين، ر: 8704، 6/2911.

([27]) “سنن أبي داود” كتاب الأدب، باب فِي فَضْلِ مَنْ عَالَ يَتَامَى، ر: ٥١٤٧، صـ٧٢٣.

([28]) “صحيح البخاري” باب الإِشْهَادِ فِي الْهِبَة، ر: ٢٥٨٧، صـ٤١٨.

([29]) “شعب الإيمان” باب في حقوق الأولاد والأهلين، ر: ٨٧٠٠، 6/٢٩1٠.

([30]) پ2، البقرة: 177.

([31]) پ21، الرُوم: 38.

([32]) پ2، البقرة: 215.

([33]) “مسند الإمام أحمد” حديث أبي أيوب الأنصاري، ر: 23589، 9/138.

([34]) “سنن الترمذي” أبواب الزكاة، باب ما جاء في الصدقة على ذي القرابة، ر: 658، صـ168.

([35]) “صحيح مسلم” كتاب الزكاة، باب فضل النفقة والصدقة على الأقربين …إلخ، ر: 2316، صـ405.